Is a pacifer ok?
Im 21 years old but the father of my daughter is significantly older than me and his "generation" is all about NOT giving the pacifier, I have another daughter that is 14months and still uses one so obviously I approve of it. What do I do with my newborn I feel she can have it we'd just stop her at like 2 yrs old or so cold turkey but he doesnt. I find myself letting her have it when hes not around..any suggestions??
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Pacifiers are actually known to reduce the risk of SIDS these days! That alone should be enough reason. Plus, if your child has a strong sucking instinct and you dont give them something to suck on, they are going to be miserable and make life miserable for you until they learn to suck their thumb. And thats just disgusting! Look at it this way: you can take a pacifier away, but not a thumb. Better to be addicted to something that can later be removed. Pacifiers pose no threat to teeth until 2 years old. My daughter was incredibly addicted to her binky. As she got a bit older, we started slipping it out of her mouth when she wasnt sucking actively on it. We started giving it to her less and less, and instead would distract her with play. When she was 10 months old, she refused to take her binky, cut herself off cold turkey. Seriously, a pacifier does more good than harm. Tell your husband he needs to be up to date on the reality of pacifiers, and that they arent a death sentence, they can actually protect your child.
For your older child, try introducing something else to comfort her. A special stuffed animal, blanket, whatever. Perhaps give her a little more special attention/holding/cuddling before bed to make her feel more secure.
I see where both of you are coming from. A pacifier is meant to sooth a infant, which there is no problem with. The problem is when you let your little one have it for to long. It is kinda like the bottle, there comes a time when a young one has to give it up. I believe that a little one should have the pacifier took away before or no later then the age of two. It can be really bad for their teeth and their speech if they have one in their mouths all the time. I am not saying this directly to you but I find that if a child has a pacifier too long that is how they learn to deal with certain issues, such as when they are upset, instead of talking about it they get the pacifier instead. Everyone has different views on all sorts of things but I do know that when you do take her off it , cold Turkey will be to hard for all of you, the best things to do, and I know this because i have done it, the best thing to do is slowly take her off it. Stop giving it to her in the daytime and once she is used to that, do not let her have it a nap, which is going to be hell at first, and then the last step is take it away at bedtime. Once more I see no problem with your new joy having one, it sooths infants which is good for them. I hope this helps.
Honestly, we had more issues with our son having the pacifier than not. He was becoming dependent on it and we quit cold turkey. It's only difficult for about the first few days or nights I should say. We gave it to him going to bed but after a few days he would fall asleep on his own. He does much better without it and trust me, so do I. Thing is, I feel like in our experience and everyone is different but I think it is like a comfort thing.... now that he doesn't have it, he is more self assured and is very independent. He doesn't really need anything to feel safe, just a comfortable bed, warm blanket and of coarse his lil elmo.
It can be very difficult to get them to stop using them when they have them that long. I never gave them to my kids except when they were still pretty newborn. It takes a lot of patience to make them stop cold turkey. That's why you see so many toddlers walking around with pacifiers in their mouths. It turns into a type of safety blanket I think. I think if you can handle the baby without giving it to her, then don't give it to her. It's not necessary.
I just read an article that says that you should offer your baby a pacifier for every sleep period for the first year of life to reduce SIDS. It was in a Christian parenting magazine called Parent Life, it is put out by Lifeway, but the reccomendation was from like the Academy of Peds.
After a year you should try to wean them from it. We started giving it to my oldest only if he was on his bed. He would go get it and sit on his bed for a while, then after about a month of that he only got it at night or nap, a couple weeks later only at night, a couple weeks later we "lost" it.
Pacifiers are fine...I use the avent ones and they are great because they come in different sizes for your child's mouth. I only give mine one when he is sleepy...it does help him sleep better sucking for babies helps soothe them. I would much rather my child suck a pacifier which can be taken away then his thumb which is kind of hard to get rid of. Pacifiers are normal and if they are discontinued before a child starts school lol then you should be okay.
I'd just be honest with him that you intend to use it....since you are anyway behind his back. Personally...I was dead set against it with my son but the stupid nurse at the hospital (at birth) gave him one and he had been using it ever since...however..he's seven months old now...and he's kind of lost interest in it. So I really don't think there's anything wrong with it...the problem you're having here is the concealing from your man...that could pose some conflict later ...so I'd diffuse the situation immediately by just being honest and letting him know that you child will be using a pacifier...and he should just get over it.
ahhhh the pacifier. binky. fooler. the peace pipe! lol! 2 of my kids took one, 2 would not have it. she's only 14 months old. she will be ok. when my little one learned what the trash was, she kept throwing binky in there. i told her the next time binky STAYS in there. well, she threw it in and in it stayed. same thing with the bottle. my son pushed the car window button one day and out it went. they grow out of these things. they learn what it means to be "big". then they want the cup and the potty etc. she will let you know when she is done with it.
Nothing wrong with paci's. Babies find a natural comfort from suckng, so it's good for them. And when it's time to take it away, you just have to stand your ground and not give it to her. Eventually she will forget about it. How many kids go to kindergarted with a pacifier?
there is nothing wrong with a pacifier, it soothes the baby. but it must be stopped by the age of 3.