Is selfishness a mental illness?
It's not the way it sounds. We've been friends for years, she is 38, divorced and desperately wanted a baby - I just supplied the means to make it happen. We never even made love - she used a kitchen utensil, so I don't know how my wife can be so selfish. I really think I did an selfless act & imagined my wife would commend me for being such a good guy to my best buddy.
My friend and I talked through what would happen. She didn't want to go to a donor clinic, I was honoured to be asked. I was to play no real part in the child's life - my role was to supply the means to have a child to my friend - not to play dad. I would however be a godfather. My friend had her own successful company - and as I was a donor I wouldn't be financially liable.
My wife hated the idea. We have one child - she wants more, I don't. So she hated the idea that I would give my friend a child not her - that is really selfish as we have a child! She pointed out that I may feel attached & if that happened she would leave & wouldn't want to have anything to do with the child. She made it quite clear that she wasn't on board, but if I went ahead it was to be as a benevolent act & our child would not 'share' daddy. I agreed to this - I thought I could control it.
Well I went to scans, & found myself more involved. My friend wanted me there for the birth - I wanted to be, my wife went mad saying that I should only be there for the birth of our kids. I assured her that I wasn't emotionally attached - of course I was.
So here I am. I apologised to my wife. She told me that she'd warned me this would happen, and that if it did she'd leave. I begged her to stay... my friend's company folded & she is now bankrupt. My wife inherited a large amount of money - I wanted to give my friend some (after all it is my baby) & set up a trust fund for the baby - my wife told me to f*** off!!! My biggest wish would be to have all my family (friend and baby included) to christmas... my wife has left. She has already consulted a solicitor. She refuses counselling, which she SHOULD GO TO to so they can tell her she is selfish. Why is she so selfish???
Comments
I suggest you read through the whole f*cking thing. Seriously dude. You did wrong, and then you went and tried to fix the other party. You had no right. How were you even able to get married in the first place? You're not even able to consider your wife at all. Pfft... Men... I pity the lady who decided to use you as a donor, I wouldn't want anything close to your genes in my children.
Written from the POV of your wife.
Is selfishness a mental illness?
10 Months ago.
This is exactly the way it sounds. My husband, who I've been married to for god knows how long, decided to "make" a child with another woman. He didn't even consult me beforehand, and then all of a sudden he tells me that his friend is pregnant... WITH HIS CHILD. When he told me, I nearly completely lost it, I MEAN WHAT WAS HE DOING GETTING SOME WOMAN PREGNANT? A MARRIED MAN! I was THIS close to filing for a divorce, right then and there, but being with my husband means a lot to me, so I decided to give him another chance AS LONG AS HE WENT NO WHERE NEAR THAT CHILD. And you know what? To top it all off, not long before my husband went off to "make" that child, I had already expressed interest in having another kid, but he DENIED my request, HE CHOSE another WOMAN over his OWN WIFE.
1 Month ago.
HE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL TO BE THERE WHEN SHE GAVE BIRTH. F*CKING A**HOLE. IS HE THAT FIXATED ON THAT SYMBOL OF HIS NEED FOR OTHER WOMEN? He's changed... putting other women before his wife. I guess what they say about men is true. AND I WARNED HIM THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
Today.
The retard decided to come ask me for money today. I asked him why? He told me his friend's company had folded and she was bankrupt... Much deserved. He told me wanted the money to set up a trust fund for his other child... He really doesn't understand that I don't LOVE that child, I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT KID, CAN'T HE GET THAT THROUGH HIS HEAD?... I can't live with this man... I decided to make good on my promise to leave him. Seriously that guy should go get counseling, even though it probably wouldn't help, at least then he can be told how selfish he is. When did he become so selfish?
Your not going to like this but yes someone is been selfish and it you
sadly if you can't understand her worried then perhaps your best apart
I'm sorry but she wasn't happy from the start but she just asked one thing from you and that was all and you flown in the face of that wither it's your kid and your with the babys Mum or your with your wife and to try and use your wife's money to pay for a baby she didn't want you to have if the final slap in the face
Also are you sure your not been played with by this other woman?
Your wife is not selfish and neither are you, but your friend is very selfish...A baby should be conceived out of Love and nothing more and this friend has used you in a very selfish way and I believe she will need counseling in the future. I feel very sorry for you, because of your friendship and caring nature you are stuck in the middle. I would see a councilor if I where you for the future is a long time and so is a Baby and you will think on this Baby every day so go help yourself now for the future...