Why am I such a serial embarassment?
I make a fool of myself as long as I interact with people. Embarassing myself is almost certain as long as I interact with people. For some weird reason I just mess up good relationships and I just do irresponsible things and silly things that just make me seem so rediculous.
For example a very kind former boss of mine helped me to get a very good job at a prestigious company but I didn't decline the offer even though I knew I would be leaving the country soon. So I took the offer and worked for two months then I disappeared without a word and left the company stranded because I was working on a very specific and critical project. I later sent him an email to apologise and he never replied which I understand since I embarassed him, made a fool of myself in my career and let down that company.
Also I say rediculous things that I dont mean to say or act weird around people. I get so self consious.
How can I stop being such an embarassment and totally humiliating myself? Its quite impulsive so I fail to stop it just before I do it. What can I do to help myself? I want no more of this... Any suggestions??
Comments
You can start by writing a letter to the company that you let down. If there are specific people, address the letters to specific people.
You cannot start on a new path before you fix up the past.
When you are in social company, avoid doing and saying things.
Just listen. Observe. Leave early.
Then when you have learn from observation, ask - try to be interested.
If you do say something stupid, apologise the next day.
Join a hobby organisation or something to improve social skills.
Don't learn social skills at work - too risky.
All the best
I understand how you feel. And yes, you are a loser. Stranding a company like that???! That is just horrible! But there is no point in letting it get to you, it will only stop you some improving. What you need is confidence. Find new friends with your same problem. Write down over and over what it is you truly seek. Think about your decisions over and over. Make a bigger, but not too big, deal out of things.
There's no point in looking back. Stop being a loser! Achieve something!
I feel for you, but you're just a loser. Plain and simple, you're a loser. Don't even try to deny it.