How do I accept my dad back into my life?
Its a really confusing situation but Ill try to explain it as short as I can. My older sister had been living with my dad and they were having the usual arguments/issues. I really don't remember what happened but she moved out and into my moms and later she said how she remembered a time that he trapped her in the bathroom while she got out of the shower and wouldn't leave to let her out in privacy and he was "trying to see her naked" but he took it as a joke and as if he was being silly but my sister took it very serious and cut him out. Other insidents after:he came to my moms place with his sister (my aunt) and my sister got into a loud fight outside where my dad started taking pictures from his car for police in defense of his sister, he got cancer and we talked to him during the first stage of that then went back to not having him in our life, he married a woman he met online from Asia that we never met, last time I agreed to see him (about 6months ago?) he asked me to see the aunt who I dont want anything to do with after her saying very nasty things to my sister and he told me I shouldn't hold grudges, after that I stopped talking to him again and now my sister accepted him back in her life and he msged me and I want to, but I dont know what to say to him and how to explain why I cut him out for so long. I almost feel guilty b/c I feel I rly didnt have a good enough reason. What exactly should I say to him? I just want things to be normal again.
Update:I honestly feel that the bathroom incident was never him intentionally trying to see her naked and I know him as a silly person who likes to play around/be weird but I supported my sister about it who was very scarred by it and the other reason I cut him out was because she didnt want me to see him. Id really appreciate a good and helpful answer. I just dont know what to say to him.
Comments
I don't know. You cut him out because of your sister. Whatever issue they had has been resolved and now it's OK to talk to him. What happens when there is another incident between your sister and your father? Will you stop speaking to him again? My point is that you need to develop a relationship with your father that is based on just the two of you and whatever else is going on with your sister or mother or aunt is completely separate. Now if you don't want to spend time with your father or his sister, then don't. And if you do spend time with them and don't like them badmouthing other family members stand up and show your disgust with your feet. Good luck.
I wouldn't dismiss the bathroom incident just yet . It is very odd behavior for a father.
He's nuts, his sister is nuts. You can visit but you don't want to bring it back.
You had cut him out because your sister was abused by him. But since your sister has forgiven him you can also forgive him.
You can give the same reason to him why you had cut him out so long.
just tell him you want things to be normal again
Don't do it.