IS THIS A GOOD INTRO PARAGRAPH??????

I stared blankly ahead at my own reflection. Trying to see a sign of life, a sign of happiness in my eyes. Nothing. I walked over to my bed and cried until I had no tears left. My whole body was numb. I couldn't even feel the pain anymore. I miss the pain because it means I felt something. The scars on my face and arms were fading but like me, they'll never completely heal. Maybe getting out of this atrocious place is what I need after all. Now that my father has a decent paying job I can live with him instead of my ignorant uncle. But even though my uncle is completely unaware of everything, A fresh start is what I need more than anything.

its short i know but it's a work in progress. :)

Comments

  • Good job!

    But keep revising.

    You've got a great storyline coming, you just need to suck your readers in with the intro.

    Good luck, and have fun writing!

  • Yeah Maybe Just A Little More Detail But Other Than That It's Good

    Good

    Luck

  • Your a good writer...

  • yeah its really good :) keep up the good work !

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