Do I have a problem?
I am a 14 year old girl and I think I have an anxiety/depression issue. it all started when my grandma died (I was extremely close to her) and I just started having frequent nightmares, different thoughts about life, and kind of an aha moment like how could I be so clueless about death? in the past month or so especially has gotten horrific. I have nightmares every night, hard time falling asleep, even when I have a normal dream it wakes me up and there's no chance of falling back asleep. I'm probably getting 4-5 hrs of sleep a night, which isn't that bad but still. the amount I wake up I feel is not normal, like my mind won't shut down. I feel like people at my school, in my grade, I'm much more mature tan they are and they don't have a clue about the real world, and I feel like I care about everyone else more than they care about me. Whenever I have a trigger, usually when someone gets mad at me or I'm trying to help someone and they are being shitty to me, I will have feeling like my stomach drops and my heart starts racing. I feel like I need to pace and it's very hard to hide during class time. I have very bad thoughts about people I know dying, I have a fear of death (not for me, other people) and is mostly the topic of my nightmares. Anxiety/depression runs in my family, does it have something o do with that? do I need to see a doctor? I feel like people think I'm miserable and pouty all the time but I really just feel constantly overwhelmed... I overthink everything.
Comments
I know exactly what you mean about the aha moment. When I was 13, I was sitting in my bed, going to sleep, doing some deep thinking. The thought just crossed my mind when I shot up from my bed and actually started crying. Lots of soul searching later I've just come to accept that one day we'll all just die, our minds no more. It's hard, but I think you might as well
I see the problem here. Your a woman. Ha, that was a sexist joke. Anyway its just grief, and its a normal process following someons death. Read more about it, it might calm you down a bit.
you were close with your grandma and this is part of getting over it. when we lose someone, we grieve for them. you may be depressed but you are too young to take medication. talk to someone at school, the nurse or counselor, see if they can help you. tell your Mom. Ask your Mom to let you sleep in her room for awhile. My kids always sleep with me when they are upset or scared and they are as old as you are. now here is the thing...everyone dies and we have no control over that but just know that the people who die want you to live, they do not want you to give up and be depressed. grandma will always be with you and you can talk to her anytime you want. that love will never die...God bless