My Poem....please read?
Bigger is Better
There once was a man who lived in a mansion.
He wanted a bigger and larger expansion.
He needed more room for his old sick wife.
Because after all, that house was her life.
He built the house bigger until his wife passed away.
He decided to stop building on that lonely day.
Then something so strange appeared in his yard.
It was from heaven, it was an angel guard.
The angel had said he needed this yard for God.
The man’s teary eyes glistened and he gave him a nod.
For the man’s yard was heaven for all people who’ve passed.
Then the man had stopped crying, he’d seen her at last.
The man had then realized heaven was quite small.
So he tore down his mansion, brickwork and all.
He built a small shack with a window and door.
Because of his deed, his happiness was more.
The man had grown old but died with a smile.
He hadn’t seen his old wife in such a great while
What do you guys think?
Thanks for replies.
Comments
Your an Excellent Poet...
I love poems that tell a story not just tell a message.
Excellent Job
KEEP WRITING
EMAIL ME YOUR POEMS
That is a pretty good poem a number from 1 to 10 it would be a 10
i think its amazing but the ending is abrupt in my opinion..just a thot ..i think u have aweeesome talent but i would end it like
Now the man feels no distress anymore
For he can see his wife by jut opening his own door
His house continues to be there for his wife
Whom he charished for all his life
=] im not that good a poet i just think u could add a little bit to the end ..other then that I <33 it
Thats a Great poem.Really Good.
I like it. If you actually did write it, you should enter it in your school's poetry contest. I am related to someone who has the same talent as you. She has won several poetry contests. good luck.
I liked it. It was simple, but precise. That's hard to pull off, great job. Cute and touching.
Awww, dayyum.
That was really nice. Very.
I like how you rhymed with every two instead of four...it makes it easier to read.
:]
awww thats a really nice poem
almost made me cry:P
I love it!! It's so good! Keep writing!
that's really good. it has such great meaning. u should post more. i really enjoyed that.