Marriage trouble..parents not ready to even listen..:(?
Hi.
Me and my darling BF are in love for almost 3 years now and we think we should get married now.Both of us have decided but here comes the trouble.His parents are willing him to marry in same caste which obviously m not,second they don't like me much coz they got to know about our affair in college itself and things got messy.
Anyway although we can get married even if they don't agree but I dont want things to happen this way.I believe its such a special day and all should be happily present in my marriage specially parents.
And In India its gonna be a tough decision to get married without parents consent.Even my family wont like it..
what to do??how to convince them??My BF even said he will marry this weekend and come home ifthey dont want to talk about it at all but still all in vein..
He has tried talking to his mom and dad but they are not ready to listen..what to do?
Update:ah yes we both live alone, earn and are self sufficient plus m turning 23 this 31st..and he is 24..so there are practically no problem but there are problems emotionally..we just love them and don't want to hurt them.
and the worst is not marrying him..we will marry may be we will give them some more time..
but the question is how to convince them at the moment.they seem to be lost and surrounded by so many issues with our marriage..what to say??we are like confused to bottom..
Comments
I guess it depends on how willing you are to go against what your parents want and what is best for you...If you plan to live in India and you think it's going to be a big problem - you may want to hold off and try to convince your families to make that change...or you could plan to live in India and be self-sufficient and cut ties with your families if it's a big issue...or you could try to get a visa and live and work in the U.S. where we view marriage as a persons choice.
Good luck to you!
Add: Okay - I get that the cultural thing is going to be a big obstical but can you convince your families that instead of marrying someone you don't know, that won't have your best interests at heart could be far worse than marrying someone you synch with - that knows you - that has your (and your families) best interests at heart, someone that will build upon the foundation already laid without having to worry about being incompatible...maybe trying it from that angle - that you two will be stronger and more successful together than with someone else you don't really know well!?
I don't know your age, but whatever it is.
Ask your parents, too. Parents want their children to be happy. Sometimes what the children think will bring happiness, isn't the same as what the parents think. If your parents come to be negative about it, they may have a good reason to it.
Ask yourself whether everybody might know something that you don't.
Ask them.
Let all the world know that you are trying to understand.
Don't ask when anyone is absentminded.
Maybe you find a solution throught that way. And your wish will be fullfiled.
Remember all parents love their children very much.
You can't make someone be happy for you nor can you make them give you their consent. People are going to feel what they want, bottom line. So if you want to marry him, go ahead, but realize your parents and his parent may never agree or be happy for you. But if your of marrying age, its about you, not your family. when one gets married, their new immediate family is their spouse and their children. never disrespect your parents, but realize this is your life and when they are dead and gone, then what? Who is suppose to be their for you? If you love this man, marry him.
You are from Asia right, tough luck.