how do I build my self esteem?
I'm a 20 year old college student. I have pretty low self esteem when it comes to social situations. I have no friends (I have some "sorta-friends" though). I've never had a girlfriend (and only one date). I consider myself to be boring to talk to, and therefore don't see why anyone would want to be a friend, let alone go on a date with me. How do I feel better about myself?
(Physically, and by that I mean looks, I don't see a problem with regards to dating. The girl I went out with only liked me for my looks, then didn't like me like that after she got to know me).
Comments
You have to except yourself first, when you find the right girl you won't have a problem, socialize in class, sit next to people you think would be friendly, also get to your classes early to chit-chat. If you don't have classes get involved in a club or program, and just be nice to everyone. I find nothing wrong with only having a few friends, as for myself I tend to be distant from most people, but I try to make at least an effort to keep a few friends around.***
I had problems similar to this. First, you have to have a positive outlook on life in general and be open to change and new ideas and things. Then, I read two books that changed my life. Which was strange to begin with because I hate reading. Anyways, the first book was "The Magic of Thinking Big" by David J. Schwartz, PhD and the second was "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. I wouldn't tell you this if these did not have a profound effect on my life. They helped me to see things in a new light that I never knew existed. And if you don't know that it exists how can you achive it? It changed everything.... Remain always positive, it will truely change everything.
Your only 20, give yourself time. I am sure your not boring and I am sure there is a great girl out there who thinks so. Its better to be alone, then with some one how makes you unhappy.
Hi Sigh
STOP wasting your time on self-esteem - it's far more trouble than it's worth.
Get yourself a copy of Albert Ellis's book "The Myth of Self Esteem".
It will explain in detail why chasing self esteem does more harm than good. And has step by step instructions on how to develop self appreciation - a far more practical/realistic/easy to maintain state of mind.
well dood primo adice here: you think about yourself too much
once I realized how dumb people are that care about what people think WOW I became very popular and the whole school knew who I was..helps to have a catchy nickname too though..you just got to believe in yourself..workin on a sence of humor helps...dont care..you really do gotta love yourself first...this may be bad advice if you do not have an addictive personality drink some beer socially or smoke some but dont get hooked bcuz then you will be kinda weak...just believe in yourself..chicks dig a strong man with confidence...sometimes you gotta be jerk..for some reason that turns on most women
You certaintly have to know who you are and love yourself first. You are probably comparing yourself to others. STOP!
Be content with who you are and what you have to offer.
When I am at school and I see beautiful girls with big personalities, I start to wonder if I should start acting that way or if I am good enough!
Don't even go there!
I have come to know who I am, and love who I am.
I am sure that if you are positive and confident in who you are any girl will want to be your friend or date.