People who turn a tragedy into a social event?
Last March, my step brother was involved in a fatal car crash. At his funeral, people who hardly knew him showed up and were chatting with their friends like they were having a great time...completely ignoring the fact that his family (myself included) could barely contain ourselves and were crying until our eyes were bloodshot.
This crushed me and made me feel bad for humanity. 
I wanted to be angry at them, but it just made me sad that anyone could be so stupid and selfish.
I had mascara running down my cheeks while these stupid girls were talking really loudly, laughing on their cell phones, having conversations about their future plans, dressed in really low cut dresses, and cursing like mad.
Have you ever in your life witnessed a funeral like this? If so, did it make you angry, sad, both, or other? I NEVER want to go through this again, especially if idiots who hardly know the deceased person show up behaving like white trash.
Comments
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.
But I have attended wakes and funerals that had a celebratory mood -- we were celebrating the dead person's life, and we knew that they would have wanted us to remember them that way.
At all of those wakes and funerals, though, the closest family members -- often widows and widowers and sometimes sons and daughters -- set the tone. If they had wanted to focus on grief for what we had all lost rather than shared enjoyment over what we had all had, even if for too short a time, everyone I knew would have wanted to give them that. Even when I was a kid, it was always my understanding that funerals are, in one sense, a gift from the community to those people who have been hit hardest by the death.
Is it possible that these people were trying to celebrate your step-brother's life, and didn't adequately respect what the family (whom they apparently didn't know) wanted at that moment? Is it possible that they knew him, even if you didn't know them? I don't know. I wasn't there. It sure sounds as if you don't think it's possible. But I think that if I had witnessed someone behaving in that way I would feel better about it if I could convince myself that that's what was going on, that they were clueless but well-meaning. After all, because I know that your step-brother's death affected you and your family as much as it did, I can tell that the way he lived his life must have been something worth celebrating. I hope that you are soon able to get to the point where you remember his life more vividly and more often than you remember his death: I know that it has meant a lot to me when I've been able to turn that corner with the people I've loved most who are already gone.
And I'm sorry that those people disrupted the service your step-brother's family had chosen and planned.
so sorry for you loss i think the problem is that some parents don't teach their children basic manners /etiquette nowdays. i fortunately have never witnessed anything as disrespectful as you describe while some social standards cause negativity many of them do a great good and help us know the proper way to behave in social settings of all kinds. so that no one is offended or hurt young people simply are not often taught these things.the worse i have seen is shorts worn to a funeral home by a teenager and my nephews used the night before their grandfathers, my fathers funeral to have a wild drinking bash so they showed up looking ill and about to pass out their mom is the one who at my moms funeral acted like it was a family reunion and wanted to take many group pictures these things caused more sadness at what was already a sad time.an accidental death such as your step-brothers is an especially sad occasion and anyone attending should of acted appropriately
Sorry for your loss. At my Dad's funeral there was the time for somber reflection but when that was over it was jokes and funny stories about Dad lots of laughing and not even necesarily laughing with him type of jokes but laughing at him.There was also al lot of non-funeral related socializing too maybe it's because we have a large family that really only gets together for things like that there was a fair amount of "what do you have going on in the future" kind of talk.We all grieve in our own ways.
I have never been to a funeral (though death shall be coming around my family soon enough). But holy mother ****. Seriously? What in the hell were they doing? Were they raised with no manners what so ever? ****.
Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss and the disrespect they showed towards your brother and family. I would like to think that, that wouldn't happen to anyone, ever.
First, I am very sorry for your loss.
People grieve in different ways. some cry and some laugh so they dont cry. Some just show up. Dont let it affect you too much.
I dont want a lot of tears at my funeral. I want to be remembered and there better be some great food and a few good jokes (not about me of course)