I feel as If I do not deserve my boyfriends love....?
...I have made him feel violated in the past. I hate myself..............
Me and my bf knew eachother for a few years b4 we got 2gether. Reason he waited to tell me how he really felt was because I was too young. Thing is, I always had feelings for him. However, b4 we got 2gether, his brother begged me to hang out, and he ended getting me wasted drunk. He ended up touching me. I didn't sexually touch him, but I acted like a drunken animal and did lead him on because I liked messing with guys heads. That was a horrible mistake and I didn't want him to do that. Now that I am with my bf, I feel I don't know If I am good enough for him. I mean, what really bothers me is that I always LONGED for my bf and then, THAT had to happen with his BROTHER?! I always knew me and my bf had feelings for eachother before we got together. WHY did I have to be so wreckless? I was very young & ignorant at the time. But I love my bf so passionately and want to know If I deserve him. He's wonderful to me. I just can't get past these guilty feelings to THIS DAY.
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And NO ONE is worthy. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God. That clarified, you can then say that the past is the past and the future is what you decide to make it, by either loving the person you love or trying to get what you want (loving yourself.) It'll be one or the other, and your choices and actions will determine the relationship. So, act as if the past is the past, not the present. Live with an eye on the future (i.e., reckon the consequences.)
Honey, it was a young and dumb decision. Doe he know about this? If so? He has obviously forgiven you!!! If he doesn't and it's bugging you? And you are worried it's gonna land on a Thanksgiving table in the future? Tell him!!! LEave the "Deserving him" out of it! You drank...but if you were significantly younger? That's alot of coersion. Own the mistake of drinking. Explain that you were violated but not emotionally interested...that you see that you BEING THERE in that situation was a mistake and that the alcohol totally lowered your inhibitions and you see in your mind that the behavior you displayed was inappropriate.
But ease up on yourself sister! You recognize the choice was a wrong one! I
I hope your current boyfriend is not trying to punish you for this??? If so? He's not good for you.
If not? Then LET IT GO! Ask God for forgiveness. Ask your boyfriend for forgiveness. And forgive yourself.
We all make mistakes. We all have regrets. Ask God to help you let it go, hon. And just don't take that kind of road ever again. 
I hope you find peace soon enough to enjoy your boyfriend (if he's really good to you, that is 
If he is good to you? YES you do deserve to be happy! We were born to be happy.
So if he makes you happy? YOu deserve him. 
Everyone deserves love, and you are included in this.
Does your boyfriend know what happened between you and his brother? What do you think would happen if you told him? Would it make you feel better? Would it end your relationship?
Trust me, I've made some of the most ridiculously idiotic decisions, and woke up the next morning slamming my head into walls because I felt like such an abysmal child.
Like my brother always tells me.. **** happens. You have to accept it, learn from it, and move on, because there is no changing the past.
well it sounds like u feel really bad does he know about it? if he does just let him know how sorry you are and make sure he knows that it wont happen again. If he doesnt know about it then i think you should come clean make sure you tell him how you feel and how sorry you are and hopefully he will forgive you best luck!
i dont think of you exagerated with regard to the myspace bulletin. yet i think of which you adult adult males dont have a huge difficulty. I couldnt somewhat understand your question. yet I dont think of he became into attempting to cheat on you or something, in keeping with threat he felt insecure and published something like that to experience extra constructive approximately himself. You shouldnt be mad at him for long. I mean as you reported he did say lovable issues and you comprehend he wouldnt cheat on you, so which you just about have no longer something to agonize approximately. and in case you get mad for issues that he doesnt think of are huge bargains, then thats regular on account which you the two have distinctive perspectives of issues. confer with him, and in basic terms be satisfied! have confidence him!
Tell him it was just a mistake you didn't mean for that to happen. Tell him how you love.
Well it's not your fault that his brother got you wasted and r*ped you,but it was your fault to say "
yes" to his invitation.Don't think that you don't deserve him.You say that to yourself your gonna make yourself think your not.
better to be honest now than to drag it ou where it could get really nasty later and stop being a DT