How is this poem so far?

When James was a boy

his parents told him of the fantastical:

Angels and demons, and heroes and villains

colored history.

A romantic history of all of mankind,

directed by an omnipotent God above,

was the true story of the past; cosmic struggle

between Good and Evil from past to present.

Something amazing, said the parents to the boy

was that God, before entropy had begun,

had chosen him, the young American James Croy

to join Him in Heaven, as a chosen son.

It's about a religious young man who grows up, realizes his religion is false, realizes life has no meaning, and kills himself.

For many years the young James

worshipped the ancient desert God.

He rejected the foolish claims

of scientists who thought God a fraud.

Update:

I'm glad you told me I should kill myself, Justina. That's Christian brotherly love for ya! But if you understood the poem, you would understand that it is about how religion, while perhaps it isn't true, may have its place in the world by giving people a purpose in an otherwise meaningless universe.

Comments

  • Cynical. Untrue. A complete lie. Seriously, if you believe there is no God, why even care? Why don't YOU kill yourself, if the poem really reflects your opinion that life has no meaning? Not that I'm telling you to, but where is your logic? Science points to God anyway, and against the hypothesis of evolution. (There isn't enough evidence for it to be a theory. Don't accuse me of being anti-tolerant. I tolerate it. I just don't like it. I tolerate it because there is nothing I can do about it. If I were not tolerating it, I would try to track you down and force you to destroy it, but because I am tolerant, I just speak against it.)

    Besides that, the literary form reminds me of Dr. Seuss. Sometimes, the rhymes shouldn't rhyme too much.

  • I think you have missed the main gist of `Justina`s posting?

    Personally I find it mildly aggravating how many decent-ish poets

    imagine others cannot figure things for themselves.

    Just to be a little less aggravated - I share with you that

    earlier this week someone suggested I commit suicide, too!

    I get the feeling there`s something..wrong.....etc.

    Good poem, not your best but it`s that kind of week imho...still `Good` is `cool`, no?

    It is at least - logical.

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