How do i prevent a suspected break up?
Am crazy in love with my boyfriend, he is all I think about. We live in different states, and we see once in a while because his job is time consuming. The last time we saw, he said he wanted to get married but I said I am not ready because I am still in college, but I begged him to wait for M̶̲̥̅e for two more years, but he seems to be very impatient about it. Now I fear that he is goin to break up with M̶̲̥̅e, because his ex wants him back, and she is ready for marriage. I feel him slipping away.. And I can't bear it because am so crazy about him.
Comments
Talk to him about this and perhaps carefully voice your fears. Would he perhaps compromise with you and agree that a two year engagement would pacify him? This would allow you to finish college and then see how things go. You should not be pressured into marriage but perhaps he craves a commitment from you to show your intentions. An engagement would allow you to commit to him without the full marriage thing and all that comes with it. If after the two years you decide that marriage is the way to go, then great. If he won't wait for you after you suggesting to meet him half way with an engagement, then walk away because he isn't the one. If he is the right one for you, when you suggest engagement as a commitment he should meet you half way. That is, after all, the same principal as a marriage. It requires constant work, patience, love and understanding, reassurances and compromise, and above all communication. Good luck.
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If he really loves you, then he will wait. But if you see him once in a while, then I kind of doubt he does, because - he is going to be needing attention a bit more often than that, and if you aren't there, then he will need to seek it elsewhere. And when a guy's needs are not being met, that tends to put a damper on how much mental time he wants to focus on you, vs. that nice one that just said "hi."
In any case you have to talk to him. Ask him how he is feeling about this - it may not be easy for him to talk about honestly - lots of guys require a lot of time to figure out what they are feeling, and so they can't really immediately tell you when you ask - but open the subject with him, and don't make it difficult for him to tell you the truth - many times guys "have to" fudge the truth, because we don't want screaming and yelling and tears and grudges for weeks. So ask him honestly - what is behind this rush to marriage? Is it a need of his - ie, he needs to see some progress in his life, and marriage might be it? (which has nothing to do with you, so should be a big warning sign.) Is it that he wants to make sure you cannot get away?
In any case, you need to wonder - how can he want to marry you the last time you saw him, and now immediately be interested in his ex? I think, whatever the pain, you need to, for your own good, get some distance from this dude.
Sorry.
We can never really loose anything we never really had in thefirst place, it is not possible for someone to steal someone else, it has to be a willing move on their part, and if you are not ready for something and he moves on then he was never really yours to begin with.