My mom doesnt respect my privacy! Help!?
Ok, so i'm 14, and i think i have the right to a little privacy. my mom randomly barges into my room when the door is closed- and when my door is closed it means i'm changing or doing homework. well, she can hear the fan from the bathroom from outside first of all (its so loud we can hear it all over the upstairs) so she knows im changing if the fan is still on. and the bad thing is, when she realizes she just walked in on me changing, she DOESNT GET OUT. she instead goes aroud my room picking up things and fretting. even if i ask her nicely to go out, she ignores me and goes on as if im not naked. i can't get a lock on my door, and i cant get changed up against the door either (theres 2 doors leading into my room, one is for the bathroom) me and my sister share a bathroom, and she always gets mad at me if i stay in there for too long, so i can't change in the bathroom either. i put up a PLEASE KNOCK sign, and she now just knocks really fast and swings the door open violently, and doesnt give me a chance to say DONT COME IN. she's walked in on me 4 times this week! although i live under my moms roof, i think i deserve a little privacy. i mean seriously...every day this week so far. jeez haha. help!
Comments
I totally agree that you should have some privacy in your room especially when dressing. As maturely as possible ask to have a talk w/mom. Explain to her that you would really like to have some privacy when dressing. Ask her to please, please, knock and wait for you to say it's ok to come in. Let her know that once your dressed, she's welcome to come in. Perhaps if you agree to pick up after yourself and try hard to keep your room neat, she won't have that much reason to come in. If you can't get her to agree, try negotiating w/perhaps Dad to intervene or an aunt, etc.
I remember being 14.
What an attitude we all get at that age. It's really quite easy to get that small amount of privacy. Talk to your mom about. No complaining etc just discuss how you feel.
I told my mom - I know in your eyes I'm still your little girl but please mom I've hit puberty, I'm growing up, I'm not comfortable with you watching me change or coming in without asking. I need my own privacy and I would appreciate it if you respected that. Oh the quick knock is almost worse. Be straight up with her (no attitude). Maybe your are in the middle of changing or maybe you just want to be alone (you might even be masturbating).
I also asked her if she remembers when she was 14 and how she would feel about others coming in on her without notice. She stopped doing it. Make an agreement that she'll wait for you to say come in or to open the door (...hold on a second).
You have to earn it...don't worry she'll come around.
Remember to respect her privacy too.
Every one deserves privacy especially when you're getting dressed. It doesn't matter who "pays the bills" that excuse basically sexually harassing the child.
Stay at home Mums don't pay bills, nor do elderly parents living with their son, does that mean they have no rights and the payer of the bills can do what ever he wants to them, can a land lord just walk in without knocking while you're undressing.
Get dressed in the shower-room, another bathroom, the toilet, so she can't come in, when she's getting changed just walk in, she'll see how annoying it is, or explain that when the door is closed you are getting dreessed so kindly ask her to knock first.
i had the same problem as u exspt i am youger my parents always barge in on me
but i now yell dont come in really loud so they can hear it
and if they barge i scream i am changing plz go away and come back in 5 minuets
also rather than plz knock put something saying plz knock and wait on ur door also u could barcat the door with a few things too
also just change in the bathroom if she doesnt respect ur privesy
also talk to her and say can i buy a lock or please knock and wait for me to open the door
also if she doesnt knock or get out of ur room after telling her polity scream at her to get out
thats what i do if my parents do that
i hope i helped
You DO get the right of privacy. Especially if you are changing your clothes! Is there another bathroom in your house that you don't share with your sister that you could change in? I really think you should talk to your mom though. Tell her that you are very uncomfortable with her barging in on you when you are changing. Tell her that you respect HER privacy and that she should do the same in return. Even if she already knows about the fan thing, tell her anyway. :]
You have no privacy in a house someone else pays for. Sad but true. Do good in school and get a job at 16 so you can be out on your own at 18. Leave your door open so she won't have the satisfaction of busting it open lol. 4 years left! Your almost there!
well you can start by talking to her somehow you know be like well mom i dont appreciate how youve been walking into my room without me letting you in and be like im growing up and well i dont want people just barging in my room while im changing i think its disrespectful and tell her what if you were changing i dont think you would like to see people open the door right?oh and tell her how if you were changing what if it wasnt her opening the door and it was a guy idk maybe a brother cousin dad or whatever i dont think it would be appropriate to let them see you changing so if she can please just stop marching in your room and at least knock on the door and wait for an answer to come in or not..
Lol well it would be good to get a lock.... Talk to her about it.. Tell her that you want your privacy and you don't like the fact that she walks in on you all the time without knocking, just don't sound too rude... lol
Good luck
if you have done everything you can think of, try pissing her off.. then next time she walks right in and you are changing, stand there naked and scream at the top of your lungs. "MOM, IM TIRED OF YOU SEEING ME NAKED...!! or "MOM DO YOU HAVE A THING SEEING ME NAKED.. THATS SICK.." I know these sound mean and strange but they might make her mad enough to wait to walk in..
You also might try useing one of the door stopper you see that hold a door open.. use it in reverse, close your door and wedge it under your door so no one can open it until you remove it.. get two, one for the bathroom door and one for your bedroom door..
you do need something. my mom has walked in on me changing before and i told her to get out and when she didn't i started screaming at the top of my lungs for her to get out. i mean if your changing clothes you need your door shut. walk in on her one time to see how she likes it. that's what i did and my mom never did it after. and when i am at my dads he knocks and waits for me to answer him. your becoming a woman and are growing you need to have some privacy when you get dressed.