How do I overcome daddy issues?
Growing up I had a father who worked long hours, 6 days a week, far from home. He never hugged me or kissed me or told me he loved me. Even to this day, I've only hugged him twice that I can remember; once when my mom died, and once when I quit drugs for good. My father was never really, actually there. And to make matter worse, after my mother died he said that he was happy he didn't have to deal with her anymore. I read online that I have "daddy issues", and that those daddy issues have long lasting effects on relationships, which I definitely see now. I've been with my fiance for 2 years and I'm constantly worried about him, I'm over protective of him, I worry if he has a drink without me, I worry that he's going to leave me at the drop of a hat, I need him to tell constantly that he loves me and if he doesn't I get paranoid. Obviously, these daddy issues HAVE effected my life. If I don't overcome them, I'm worried I'll always be this way! And I'm not happy the way I am. I've turned to scripture and religious self-help books to help me learn the way a wife should be, and yes, I've gotten a lot better but I still struggle. I have to watch what I'm going to say and I have to tell myself not to worry! Does anyone have any advice that could help me to overcome this?Because of how messed my parents relationship was, I see how much it effected each one of my 5 siblings in different ways. I want to have a completely happy and healthy marriage, for myself and for my children so they don't turn out like myself or my siblings.
Your help is greatly appreciated!!
Comments
Well don't worry all the time about how these daddy issues are going to mess with your relationship. Yes, they have likely affected you in the past, but now you have an understanding of how these types of issues can affect you so you can become better at recognizing when you are worrying too much or being over-protective. Therapy may be a good option for you if you feel that this is impacting the rest of your life as well. This sort of issue is unfortunately not uncommon so therapists will know better how to guide you through the steps for you to better control your life and become free of the issues you worry about ruining your relationship/life.
Hi Claresta.
Sorry to hear about your mother.
Good on you for quitting the drugs.
Why wouldn't you want your siblings to turn out like you ?
Your doing pretty well.
Let go of dad he can look after himself.
Good on you for telling him you love him!
Good Luck.
Best Wishes.
Mars Mission Soon In A Galaxy Near Yours..
Source(s):
Studies.
Some people strive to get themselves straight up and to be content before anyone else gets their time. It's very normal and very common. It will take serious time and effort to get through to them, so take your time and wear them down. Priorities, in terms of self fulfillment and success can only go so far, and you must realize that. Don't take any of this personally...you should create your own goals and start to achieve them, then those you worry about will come standing in line to get a lesson.
Find your approval in yourself; you don't need Daddy's, or anyone elses, approval to be happy, successful or anything else.
"Daddy" was just another guy, fate made him your father. Why is "Daddy's" approval more important to you than anyone elses, especially your own?
It will be better, if you don't drag me in controversial issues. Please try to solve such issues in consultation with some highly reliable, trustworthy and wise friends or relatives.