Do public restrooms gross you out?

My mother was a fanatic about public restrooms. When I was a little

>

>girl, she'd take me into the stall, show me how to wad up toilet

>

>paper and wipe the seat. Then she'd carefully lay strips of toilet

>

>paper to cover the seat.

>

>

>

>Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, NEVER sit on a public toilet seat.

>

>Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consisted of balancing

>

>over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any

>

>of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat.

>

>

>

>That was a long time ago. Now, in my "mature" years, "The Stance"

>

>is excruciatingly difficult to maintain.

>

>

>

>When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of

>

>women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your

>

>turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is

>

>occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking

>

>down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't

>

>latch. It doesn't matter. The dispenser for the modern "seat covers"

>(invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would

>

>hang your purse on the door hook, if there were one, but there isn't

>

> - so you carefully but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom

>

>would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank

>

>down your pants, and assume "The Stance."

>

>

>

>In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.

>

>You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe

>

>The seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."

>

>

>

>To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you

>

>discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you

>

>can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to

>

>clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!"

>

>Your thighs shake more.

>

>

>

>You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday -

>

>the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You

>

>crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than

>

>your thumbnail.

>

>

>

>Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work.

>

>The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front

>

>of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the

>

>tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the

>

>door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on

>

>the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly

>

>onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.

>

>

>

>You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare

>

>bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on

>

>the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not

>

>that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.

>

>

>

>You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew,

>

>because, you're certain, her bare bottom never touched a public

>

>toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind

>

>of diseases you could get."

>

>

>

>By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so

>

>confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a

>

>fire hose that somehow sucks everything down with such force that

>

>you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged

>

>in too. At that point, you give up.

>

>

>

>You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're

>

>exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your

>

>pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't

>

>figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors,

>

>so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk

>

>past the line of women, still waiting. You are no longer able to

>

>smile politely them.

>

>

>

>A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of

>

>toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you

>

>NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the

>

>woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

>

>

>

>As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered,

>

>used and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks,

>

>"What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your

>

>neck?"

>

>

>

>This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public

>

>restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains

>

>to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their

>

>other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in

>

>pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse

>

>and hand you Kleenex under the door. --

Comments

  • Yes they gross me out. If I MUST used a public bathroom which is gross, I usually just climb up on it and squat down. Much like you would if you had to go when in a forest or something. The soles of my shoes are dirty anyway and by doing that my body doesn't have to touch any part of the toilet. If I know I'm going out, I make sure I bring some tissues, just in case. I must say, that a lot of public bathrooms are quite OK in Holland. I liked your story by the way.

  • Some public restrooms gross me out. The smell. If the smell is too bad, i wont go no matter how much i have to go. i hate when people assume "the stance", pee splatters all over the toilet and they dont even think about cleaning it up. thats disgusting.

    i don't mean to be gross but i was going to use the restroom at a restaurant, someone left pieces of poop on the seat and there was a fly on the feces.

    i also heard something about these spiders who live under the toilet seats in public restrooms. This is because they live in cold, climates. They bite ur but and u end up in the hospital.

    i like "the stance"

  • You got issues. I stopped at a little gas station near a place called Maggie's valley in NC. It was a run down looking beat up old place with just an old guy running the joint. Kinda had that old Mayberry RFD thing going on. I went to the can expecting a filthy hole in the floor and a moon on the door. WRONG! most of the floor was carpeted, walls were wallpapered, and it was spotlessly clean. It was just a crapper stall and a urinal and a sink, and the carpet did not go all the way to the 'facilities' probably for sanitary reasons, but it was the cleanest, nicest looking, nonstinking toilet room I ever saw.

  • That's HILARIOUS! And yes, I have a very high fear of public restrooms. I refuse to use them, unless it's an emergency (like I'm not going to be able to use the toilet at home for more than three hours). My bladder's strong. I can hold for at least three hours, no matter HOW bad I need to go. Maybe it's because I've never liked public restrooms. I don't even like using other people's bathrooms.

    I know my bathroom. I know it's clean and sanitary (I clean it myself at least every three days). I can't speak for other bathrooms.

    When I DO have to use a public restroom, I put toilet paper down on the seat so I don't sit directly on it. Yeah, I'm paranoid.

  • At my work, a high profile company office, the men leave pee on the floor in front of the urinals, poop on the back of the toilet, and even sometimes blood on the seat, and these restrooms are cleaned twice a day.

  • I love this story...I hung it up in the bathroom at Wal-mart it was a big hit.

    To let you know...I just moved to German with the military...Here you can always find a clean restroom because there are attendants that clean them regular on the hour...you do however have to pay any where from 25-75 euro cents. which is like .50 to 1.00 dollars. I don't mind though I KNOW it is cleaned.

  • Haha that's so funny! And the moral of the story is... Always put toilet paper down and wipe the seat BEFORE you go potty!

  • Oh WOW!! I had no idea that it was so excruciating for a woman to use a public restroom! You're right, it's definately easier for us men, partially because most men aren't germ fanatics, and because of biological conveniance- we don't have to sit to pee! But either way, yes, public restrooms are gross! That's why it's good to carry waterless hand sanitizing gel.

  • Pigs pee on the toilet seat

  • Goolllyyyyy!!!! This is a question section not non-fiction section of the public library. Shorten your info next time. Boring!!!!

    But, I do hate it when people don't flush (mostly adults) and water all over the sink!

Sign In or Register to comment.