Do you think every kid deserves a trophy?
Now that I have my own children and I am a little older and I think of how different things are now from when I was 7 or 8 years old which was only 14 years ago, I wonder what has happened.
When I was younger and played sports score was kept and not everybody got a trophy at the end of the season. If you were 1st, 2nd or 3rd you got a trophy. MVP trophy's were given out. I was on a competitive bowling league for 13 years of my life and if you were not in the top 3 you did not get a reward.
My younger brother is 7 and he is a very active kid. My parents have recently decided that they will not be participating in giving money to get him a trophy at the end of season. If the team is not a "rockstar" team and my brother is not contributing enough to the team to win, why should he get a "good effort" trophy. No body keeps score anymore, so you never knew who wins. And every player gets a trophy at the end of the season, even if they are not a good player. When I was younger, I knew that if I did not get a trophy that meant I needed to work harder. Where do you get your competitive drive if you come in 445th place and still get a trophy. In high school, you do not get to make a speech at graduation with a 1.5gpa.
I personally think I will do they same for my two little girls (2.5 years old and 27 weeks pregnant) I just want to know if any other parents have noticed this? And do you think it is a good thing that everyone gets a trophy?
Comments
I've always thought the whole "everyone's a winner" thing is pretty asinine. And people wonder why kids today have such an over-developed sense of entitlement... it's because we tell them they're doing great even when they suck.
It's not a good thing to reward non-effort for the sake of self-esteem. All it does is teach the child that you can succeed in even if you're completely useless, so why bother trying to improve your skills?
By all means, if a kid is trying their damnedest to get something right, offer encouragement and praise, even if their best effort isn't exactly stellar... but don't give kids a reward just for being on the team.
I agree with you to a certain extent. There is a difference between a competitive league and a recreational league. Of course, in a competitive league, it should be quite clear who the winners and who the losers are. However, a recreational league is meant for the fun and enjoyment of all the players. It is also meant as an opportunity to explore sports that you may never have played before, and to build confidence and skills so that you may decide to compete later on. There's nothing wrong with giving kids a trophy or other award for participating in a competitive league, when the whole point of them being there is to have a good time and fee good about the whole thing.
Everything in moderation, and nothing in excess.
You make several very good points, which I tend to agree with. Why would a child push himself to be the best if he knows that he'll recieve the same reward for simply being a participant? This sort of attitude can foster a feeling of false self-confidence and low expectations, which, as you've pointed out, will not serve him well in the real world. The world isn't going to care about a child's self-esteem, and will expect them to accomplish something before they feel good about themselves. I think there's a lesson to be taken from that.
However, I am also a firm believer that 'success' doesn't always equal 'winning', and I think that's an important lesson too. Sometimes success is being the last place team in the league who manages to go from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Sometimes success is when the kid who's barely four feet tall finally manages to make a basket - even if it's his only basket all season. A trophy, to me, is the recognition of a success, so sometimes, I guess I do think that 'participation' trophies are alright, if presented in the right way.
When my daughter was twelve, she was on a competitive fastpitch team that lost every single game of their season. It was dreadful. But she still had a lot of fun, and improved her skills, and at the team potluck in August, the coaches gave out trophies to each and every girl - only they were custom made. One girl's trophy said "Loudest Cheer-er". Another's said, "Least Afraid to Get Dirty". My daughter's was "Most Supportive Teammate".
Sometimes the lessons we learn from sports have surprisingly little to do with wins and losses, and I think it's alright if once in awhile trophies are awarded in the spirit of love for the game.
I think everyone deserves something, but not equal to the winner. That's my opinion. I was a gymnast and if everyone got something there is no way in hell I would have trained as hard as I did. I wanted something to show for the 25 hours a week I went to the gym. I think that each team should have their own little...awards ceremony, but not get a trophy at the end of the season like they would if they were first second or third...my opinion, others may disagree ( I see thumbs down on people with the same type of attitude as I have ).
both things are different from when I did sports, we used to get a medal for participating, since you could only have a certain number of people on the team and then the best players would get a trophy, I remember I always wanted to get the trophy but I wasn't the best player and it was nice to feel appreciated as a member of the team even if I wasn't the best, it want about being 'rewarded' it was about feeling appreciated and like you belong, otherwise the same kids end up getting the trophies year after year and the kids who really try but aren't that good still feel like they've done well.
Honestly I think a kid getting a trophy is not that big of a deal. My sons play sports and they try their hardest and they can't help it entirely if they don't come in first second or third. What matters is that they involved in something positive. It's youth sports not everyone gets a trophy after they are in varsity sports. But I want them to have something to remember this time in their lives. It's not all that serious.
EDIT: I love love LOVE the answer below mine. It's important for kids to feel a part of something. That's why they are involved in the first place.
i agree to an extent. i think when they are younger maybe they should get a ribbon for participating but leave the big trophies and such to the players who did the better job. my son is a good sport he knows that he can't always win at everything. he is 5. he also knows though that winning isn't everything if he completely stinks at say baseball but has fun playing it then that's fine with me. i will sign him up to play.
No.
I do not know which I understand less, rewarding mediocrity or disallowing failure.
"Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterwards carefully avoid."
John Keats (1795 - 1821)
I dislike the idea of teaching kids that they get a reward for doing nothing.
No. We need to stop rewarding people for doing nothing. That goes for many things outside the world of little league sports too.