Do I have a mental disorder?
when I was younger, I always had a problem of arguing for no reason with parents/siblings, then as I grew older, about once every week or 2 weeks I would start arguing non stop (for a reason) until my mom would just walk out of the house trying not to hear me anymore and I would just try and drag her back and would not stop begging/arguing. (one time it was because they would not let me go to a private shopping event that I had planned to go for a while).
It has gotten a lot worse now, because at least once or twice a week when my parents get mad at me I would get so angry like a maniac, breaking things, punching and hitting everything like crazy (today it was because my mom go so so mad that I was four minutes late to gymnastics practice, and I went mad crazy again because I am pretty sure they lied about one of the reasons why they were mad at me, they must have misunderstood). sometimes it gets to the point where I want to kill myself but then think about all the things I would miss, and I never actually physically harmed myself. I am so scared that this will go on and get worse, I cried so hard 2 times yesterday and I cried today. I cry like every 4-5 days on average this past month. Yesterday my sister blamed me for stressing my parents out and thought they looked so old when she came back from college because of me. do I have some sort of mental disorder? I have been taking online tests and all of them say I don't have a disorder, but I still doubt it.
Update:Also, I think this is all because:
I am stressed out about what college I am going to get into
my parents want me to be a top gymnast and push me super hard
my mom is extremely stubborn, blames me for almost everything, and never ever says sorry even when she knows it is her fault, and has a temper tantrum
despite all of this, I still believe that I love my parents so much and that I can have a good future.
But when I meant dragging my mom back home, the fight would go on for maybe 2 hrs
Comments
You need to speak with your doctor who can refer you for testing.
There are many things (such as social anxiety) that are not "mental disorders," but there could be a reason.
I don't think you have any form of mental illness.
You just seem to be a little impatient or emotional unstable.
You just need to get some help to control your anger or outbursts.
Try to read and meditate on, learn from Proverbs:
12:15
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkens unto counsel is wise.
Consider taking a class in what is called "anger management", but this advice from me should not replace seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist.
Probably not. You definitely overthink things
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