Does Marriage Equal Consent?
My husband and I got married in 2010 and we have been perfectly happy for two (almost three!) amazing years. But last night, my husband raped me. He told me that marriage equals consent and that because we were married it wasn't rape... Is that true? It wasn't like he tortured me or anything, I just told him, you know, "not tonight," "I've had a long day, maybe tomorrow," etc., and he said, "We're going to tonight. We're married. Married people have sex." and.. yeah.... Is that even considered rape?? Please help!
Comments
No, marriage does not equal consent. Consent equals consent. Spousal rape laws came into effect in this country in around 1976 I believe. (Forcing a spouse to have sex was always rape, it just wasn't legally defined as being so.)
When he told you, ""We're going to tonight. We're married. Married people have sex" did you say no? If you said no then he had sex with you without your consent.
This is rape. NO MEANS NO. Just because you are married does not give him the right to force you to have sex. You are not a piece of property, you are a human being. Are you willing to live with someone who thinks he is more important than you are? That your feelings don't count? Do you want him to do this again?
There are excellent sources of information on this site:
http://marriage.about.com/cs/maritalrape/f/marital...
Your husband is wrong.
Marriage definitely does not equal consent. This sounds like it's developing into an abusive relationship. No one has the right to your body without your permission. I would explain this to him. Maybe he doesn't realize that he's done anything wrong, but he definitely should. If he can't respect that you have the right to choose when you have sex, you need to seek help and leave him.
Yes. It is rape. Even if you're married, you have the right to deny or turn down sex any time. No man has the right to proceed past the point where you've said NO or STOP.
Of course it doesn't!
You got raped, it doesn't equal anything.
I'd report him to the police or at least tell him what he did was wrong.
Good luck
Legally (in England) you're right but only since the law was changed quite recently. Morally, in my opinion, you're wrong, because if your marriage is based on exclusivity, neither one of you being free to have sex with other people, then you should be available to each other when required unless something more than being a bit tired or not in the mood is stopping you.
The problem with your way, which is popular, is that women use availability of sex to control, punish or reward their spouse and I don't think that controlling your spouse in that way is fair.
Yes, that's rape. Marriage does not grant him an automatic license to force himself on you whenever he feels like it.
a husband is to love you, respect you, protect you and listen to you..
What he has done is wrong and sinful. It is physical abuse!
I am a Christian, and I don't say this lightly - Talk to him. See if he can understand that he must respect your feelings (and should want to!) you are not a sex toy, you are a human being who deserves his love and respect. If he doesn't agree, you need to consider separation..God never intended for you to be harmed, and certainly not by the one who should love you!
Marital rape is still rape..report this to the police..this is a crime.