How do you use a condom?

My new years resolution was to shag as many girls as possible.

The thing is, I was worried that my "pride and joy" would get suffocated by the condom.. so I poked some breathing holes in it! Harmless right? A few holes won't do anything.

But a lot of girls I've shagged have texted/called me complaining about possibly being pregnant. I don't believe them since I used a condom! But anyways, am I using the condom right? Because it feels uncomfortable whenever I use one.

Comments

  • You are probably using a cheap one or the wrong size. Try the ultra ultra thin kind. Make sure it fits tight but not too tight, Then get a really good lube like AstroGlide.

    You WILL get a girl pregnant if you poke holes in it silly. Your little sperms are going to swim out and then you'll be shagging numerous bastard children around the town.

  • Hey there Tom, first off im gonna go ahead and say shagging as many girls as possible probably isn't a very good goal in life, but whatever. You probably are putting on the condom right, its pretty simple just slide it on, but yes they are normally uncomfortable, that's why it always feels better without one.

  • These "breathing holes" destroy the entire point of using a condom in the first place. It allows for the spread of STDs and allow semen to enter the woman's vagina.

  • HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    My next door neighbor has 5 kids by 5 different girls - & gripes & whines & complains EVERY day because most of his paycheck goes for child support.

  • I haven't seen this troll before. I give you an A for effort.

  • May God bless your sinful heart you fornicators.

  • Please tell me you're trolling.

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